In 2018 I remember being in Nantucket and sanding the starboard capping rail for what felt like the billionth time (that season). I had the repetitive thought going through my head…

What do I do next?

If I’m not a Bosun/Officer or a yachtie… Then what am I?

I was seriously questioning my identity.

For 8 years I had been telling people I was a yachtie, and a traveller. That’s me, it’s who I was, it was what I did.

People didn’t really understand it, but I understood what I believed that meant.

All of sudden when I talked to people and they asked what I did, I had this awkward response - well… I’m not really a yachtie anymore because I’m trying to leave… but I’m also, not really sure who I am anymore.

It really sent me into a spin.

It wasn’t until many months later when I had started on my new career journey that I felt like I actually knew who I was again.

Today I was listening to a podcast from ‘Squiggly Careers’

(These ladies are amazing if you’ve never listened to them - they’re very helpful, I’ll put a link to them).

Anyway, on this particular podcast they spoke about

Enmeshment

Psychologists use the term “enmeshment” to describe a situation where the boundaries between people become blurred, and individual identities loose importance. Enmeshment prevents the development of a stable, independent sense of self.

I’m not going to get into the deep psychological state of this, as that’s not what I’m trained in. However it is fascinating to see this. It originates from family ties, but is also replicated within identities of people in their careers.

Many studies have been done to show how this particularly affects high profile athletes, where their identity is intertwined within their role, so they struggle when they are ready to part with that, or the time comes to leave, or their career is ended abruptly.

Seeing this as a similar thing within the yachting industry and many other similar industries where people are isolated in their roles (but also within other industries which are less affected), can have massive impacts on peoples mental health and wellbeing when they come to change careers.

The solution?

Getting to know who you are.

It might sound basic. Or it might sound like the hardest thing ever. But knowing that there is more to you than the work you do, or the role you are in, is truly key.

If any of this resonates or you feel a sense of loss of identity outside of what you are doing. Then do get in touch.

If you want to start somewhere - we have a small mini course that can help you recognise your values, your strengths and the things that motivate you.

Regaining that sense of self starts with having a clear understanding of who you are.

Get to know this, and I promise you, that sense of self and confidence will start to grow back.